


Soft Yellow Petals

by YuyerSakaki



Category: Block B
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:59:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10016798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuyerSakaki/pseuds/YuyerSakaki
Summary: Jiho's unrequited love for Kyung becomes an issue when it begins to effect his health, coughing up the soft yellow flowers that have ensnared his heart.





	1. 1

It started with just a single soft petal. Jiho felt a tickle in his throat that grew and grew, coughing hard a few times before a bright yellow petal had fluttered from his mouth. He had reached out, catching it mid-air before examining it closely.

Just that single yellow petal.

 

It was about the time that Jiho noticed something was up with Kyung. It wasn't apparent immediately that something was different- in fact, it wasn't even that something was wrong. After knowing his friend for so many years, after being around each other almost constantly-like brothers- Jiho could notice even the slightest change in the other.

Which is why he started to notice the change in his demeanor when Jaehyo was around. Block B had been together for a number of years, so what suddenly changed between those two? Each member was close- probably too close, honestly, so what's different now?

 

Setting around the long, wide restaurant table, it was the first time in a long time every member was having a sit down dinner together. With how many hours Jiho put in at the studio, he had neglected to meet up for any sort of group dinner and found it a welcome change of pace. To see everyone together so relaxed, smiling- his family meant the world to him.

But seeing Kyung and Jaehyo so close- their chairs were shoved together, and although they weren't touching, Jiho could feel something strange about the situation. And there was the fluttering in his chest again, the same one he felt only a week ago when that soft yellow petal had flown from his mouth.

It was Taeil who first spoke up, head locked under Jihoon's arm, the two having some sort of mock wrestling match at the table.

"You and Jaehyo sure have been hanging out a lot, Kyungie." The phrase was straightforward, not accusing at all, but it caught everyone's attention immediately. Jiho wasn't the only one who had noticed.

Kyung's bright toothy smile exploded, that signature shit-eating grin of his with a soft chuckle. Jaehyo's eyes instantly locked onto Kyung's, and the two were positively radiant.

It made Jiho sick.

"Ah, see, me and Jaehyo are actually working on a song together- it's, uh, it's gonna be something really special."

Jaehyo nodded, folding his hands together.

There was the fluttering again. Deep in Jiho's chest he could feel himself trembling, and he wasn't sure if he needed to vomit or perhaps something else.

Looking across the table, Minhyuk's eyebrows furrowed. "Jiho, is something wrong?"

Silence. All eyes on Jiho.

"Uh, yeah. Just...Give me a second." Standing up, he excused himself from the table, making his way to the bathroom.

Just some cold water. Just breathe. But breathing was starting to become a challenge, and his heart was racing.

"Jiho? Can I come in?" Taeil's voice rang from the other side of the door, and unfortunately for Jiho, he didn't wait for a reply before entering.

Hands grasping the sides of the bathroom sink, Jiho was sweating. He was scared. He didn't know what was happening, and he didn't know what to say, how to say it, how to communicate to his hyung that something was very, very wrong.

"Jiho, you know...We can all tell something is wrong. You don't have to bear it yourself..."

Turning around to face Taeil, Jiho took a deep breath. "I know, it's just, I can't say I know what to say-" on that last syllable, suddenly he felt it. Something soft rising in this throat, something that made him feel like he was choking before he coughed again, and a number of those soft yellow flower petals fell from his lips.

"Jiho-"

And before they know it, Taeil is holding Jiho and they’re sitting on the ground. All Jiho can do is stare in disbelief at the petals that he’s collected in his hands, and Taeil is holding his head to his chest-  
            “Jiho…” All he can do is comfort him, keep him safe.

“Taeil…this is fake, right?” Pulling away from his hold, Jiho’s eyes met with the tiny hyungs.

“No. It’s real.” Carefully opening Jiho’s hands, he took the yellow petals and carefully tossed them into the trash bin. “But I promise I won’t tell anyone. And we will figure this out.”

Offering a hand, Taeil pulled his leader off the ground. “Let’s go back, okay? We don’t want them to worry. And please, sit next to Jihoonie. Don’t let yourself think about _him_.” But Jiho didn’t have the right mindset to even wonder how Taeil noticed his feelings for Kyung, nor did he care. He simply tucked his hands into his pants pockets, following the tiny hyung back to the dinner table where he silently sat next to Jihoon. He didn’t look at Kyung or Jaehyo the rest of the night and instead opted to smile and laugh at Jihoon and Taeil’s antics and listen to Minhyuk and Ukwon talk about more normal things.

Not that it mattered. He doubted that they even noticed.


	2. 2

"Hey Kyung, is it okay if I-"

Walking into Kyung’s dorm room was a mistake. Kyung and Jaehyo's legs were tangled together, and the two had been laughing about something before their attention shot up to Jiho.

He couldn't stand it.

"Yeah?" The word came from his mouth effortlessly, his limbs still entwined with Jaehyo's like it was no big deal.

"I...was heading to the studio, and was hoping you'd come with me..." Already Jiho felt the fluttering inside of his lungs, knowing what would come next if he wasn't careful.

"Ah, I can do that-"

"No, forget it. It can wait."

Jaehyo untangled his slender legs from Kyung’s, and carefully rose off the bed. Without the physical contact, Jiho could see Kyung visibly shrink, and it only pushed his suspicion of the two further.

"I'll come back later, if that's okay..." Jaehyo's voice was soft and drawn out, and his uneasy expression told him that Jaehyo wasn't comfortable being in a room alone with the two of them.

"Jaehyo hyung, it's fine. I'll get Taeil to come with me instead."

"Jiho-" Kyung was cut off by the sound of the door clicking into place, and Jaehyo simply plopped down onto the bed again.

It was certain, he knew.

 

The time spent at the studio with Taeil was productive to a point. Typically, he wasn't there when Jiho was editing songs, but he wasn't about to let their leader stay up all night alone with his condition.

Leaning back in his swivel chair, Jiho drug his hands down his face. "I found out what's wrong with me."

At this Taeil perked up, eyes no longer glued to his phone.

"It's Hanahaki Disease."

With a solemn nod, Taeil’s eyes lowered to the floor. They all had heard a story about Hanahaki before, but only that. Just stories told for fun.

"Taeil, it's been getting worse. At first it was only one petal, but each time...It... It’s getting to the point where I'm not sure I can hide it."

Zico, their leader. The strong charismatic leader who would do anything for his group, his family. There had been times when Zico looked defeated. There were times when Taeil was almost certain they would have to disband. But Zico pulled them through it all, Zico was strong. Zico was so very strong. But underneath Zico, he was still Jiho. And Jiho was still a person.

 

Taeil rose, carefully making his way to Jiho's side before gently tugging him over to the couch.  Resting Jiho's head on his chest, Taeil carefully combed his fingers through his soft, thick hair.

"Do you have a plan?"

"No."

"Does Kyung know about this?"

"No."

Pausing, the smaller man sighed. "I'm here to help, but I can't fix this for you. Everyone is worried about you. They all know something is wrong. They just don't want to ask if you don't want to share."

"All except Kyung." Letting his eyes fall shut, Jiho felt a rough cough coming on, but suppressed it the best he could. Opening his mouth, he pulled a few petals off of his tongue, lazily casting them to the floor. In fact, the floor had more than just a few petals. The trash bins were full of them, a radiant yellow peaking over the top of each.

"There was a time when we were closer than brothers, you know." Lazily casting an arm over Taeil's stomach, Jiho sighed as another yellow petal flew from his mouth.

"I think once he and Jaehyo hooked up, he just stopped paying attention."

Letting a hand rest on Jiho’s back, Taeil hummed and began to rub gentle circles in his back.

"This Hanahaki Disease...It means my love is unrequited, you know? So I wonder if maybe just telling him and letting myself get shot down would be best. I only worry about what would happen to the group..."

"The group is worried about you, Woo Jiho. Honestly we all know you're in love with him. We always have."

This caused Jiho to stir, sitting up properly and letting out a hard cough.

"...What?"

 

"I think the group has figured us out." Jaehyo had been laying in Kyung’s arms, staying warm against his soft pale skin.

"And? They haven't said anything. Makes things easy when they don't care." Nuzzling his face into the back of Jaehyo's neck he let out a content sigh, sleepy from the heat and the exhaustion from the day.

"Kyung, Jiho knows."

Sitting up suddenly Kyung couldn't help but snort. "And? Like he cares who I'm fucking. If he had a problem with relationships between group members he would have shut down Jihoon and Taeil long ago."

It was then that it clicked in his mind. Jaehyo may not always catch everything, but he could never mistake the love Jiho had for Kyung for mere friendship.

"This time it matters, Kyung. He knows I'm not some one-off hookup."

"So?"

So.

Kyung really didn't know and Jaehyo wasn't about to ruin whatever confession Jiho had been either avoiding or saving, and he assumed he had avoided it.

So should he tell Kyung about Jiho?

He would have to think about it.


	3. Chapter 3

They had kissed before, and It wouldn’t be that strange if they kissed again. The first time was when they were in elementary. Jiho didn’t believe that Kyung had kissed a girl, and while Kyung triumphantly bragged about how he so-totally-did, he insisted he wouldn’t be afraid to do it again.

“Then kiss me.”

The second time they kissed was on SNL of all things, for some goofy skit the staff had concocted. And admittedly, it was very funny to them. The whole group agreed. At the time, it really hadn’t meant anything, but now…

Jiho would think of Kyung, and he would think of how soft and kissable his lips were. He thought of how many times Jaehyo must have kissed Kyung. Pain would shoot through his chest, and an explosive fit of petals would erupt from Jiho’s mouth, coughing hard. At this point he had more or less given up on cleaning them around the studio- he and Taeil were the only ones spending any amount of time there, with Jihoon occasionally popping in.

Unfortunately, Jiho knew that if Taeil knew something, Jihoon would inevitably know as well. The way the two of them were, you couldn’t have one without the other, although he would admit having the two of them at his side was a comfort.

Laying his forehead down onto the keyboard of his computer, the line of lyrics Jiho was writing became a string of a single letter repeating across the screen.

“Jiho-hyung,” From behind him, a set of large, hot hands made their way to his stiff shoulders. “Don’t you think you should take a break? You’ve been sitting like this for a while now…”

“Maybe. I’m just stuck on this one line…” Sitting up he eased into Jihoon’s touch, rubbing his face with his hands.

“You’ve been sitting there far too long and I’m not letting you sleep here again tonight.” Taeil shut the book he had been reading with a firm thud, rising from his seat on the worn couch.

“Taeil, it’s fine, I can just sleep here-”

“Absolutely not. You’ve been here for three days straight and you’re starting to smell strange.”

“How can you tell? All I smell are flowers…”

Taeil shot a sharp look at Jihoon, the maknae not realizing he spoke out of turn. He really was an idiot. Sighing, he shook his head and made his way over the chair Jiho had turned into a small nest.

“Me and Jihoon will clean up here, okay? You just get ready to go, and we’ll leave together.”

 

They managed to stuff all the petals into one large trash bag, tying it off tight so that none may escape. Shuffling awkwardly to the exit, the group opened the door only to reveal two figures ready to enter the studio.  
A hand clapped fast over Jiho’s mouth, feeling the fluttering in his lungs. Not now, not as they were almost home free.

“Ey, Jiho~ Just who I wanted to see. Leaving already?” Kyung’s smile was bright as ever, full of excitement and wonder and Jiho hated it, hated that he looked so happy standing next to Jaehyo.

“U-uh, we were just on our way out…” Mumbling, he averted his eyes, avoiding looking at the proximity between his band mates. 

“Ah, I was actually hoping maybe you had a second to listen to what me and Jaehyo came up with, we were gonna start the demo-”

“Jiho needs to rest.” Although there was no malice in his voice, Jaehyo’s eyes widened at Taeil. “But I’m sure Jihoon would be happy to listen, right?”

It took him a moment, but Jihoon managed to nod, ushering Jaehyo into the studio with him and closing the door behind them.

 

“…What’s going on?”

The question hung heavy in the air, and Kyung’s eyes fixed on Jiho. Jiho stared intently at the ground, and Taeil all but glared at Kyung. 

“And what’s in that bag?” Of course, Taeil still had that massive bag, stuffed to the brim.

“It’s not really your business, it’s fine.” Jiho still had his eyes fixed on the ground, and he could feel a tickle in his throat threatening to turn into another shower of petals.

“Don’t lie to me Jiho, you know I can tell. What’s going on?” His voice had a touch of concern in it, and when Kyung stepped forward to take Jiho’s hand, Jiho’s eyes immediately clamped shut, holding in what he knew would turn into a violent cough.

“Kyung, I’m serious, it’s nothing.”

“Look me in the eye when you say it, Jiho.”

Roughly tugging his hand away Jiho’s eyes opened and met with Kyung’s and-

He hated that look. What should have read as concern looked like pity, and almost immediately Jiho’s eyes we’re locked on his lips, knowing full well where they had previously been, all he had been thinking about-

“J-Jiho…”

Jiho covered his mouth with both hands, yet bright yellow petals still made their way through the cracks in his fingers, scattering through the air. Doubling over, Jiho could feel tears forming in the corners of his eyes, straining himself to stop coughing. Taeil slipped in front of Kyung, creating a barrier between him and Jiho.

Small hands carefully steadying their leader, Taeil’s eyes shot over to Kyung, too in shock to react to the situation. “Jiho isn't feeling well, Kyung. I think it’s better for now if you let me take care of him.”

“Is…is that bag full of Jiho’s flowers?” Jaw slightly ajar, his eyes shifted between Jiho and Taeil.

Taeil wrapped his arm around Jiho, covering his face in shame. “I think you should go join Jihoon and Jaehyo.” It was less of a suggestion and more like a command, but the words didn’t quite register in Kyung’s mind until after the two of them were gone, a trail of yellow petals in their place.


	4. Chapter 4

Woo Jiho, you absolute fool.   
The words repeated in his mind, and the cool air of the night chilled him to the bone. It didn't matter that he had the shower water boiling hot, nor did it matter that Taeil had wrapped him up in a blanket and offered his own bed to Jiho. 

"I'm not leaving you alone like this, you know. I'll be right back, and if you've gotten out of bed, so help me Woo Jiho, I will kick your ass." Taeil's words to his leader were bold, but after the years they had spent together as well as Jiho being too exhausted to care, he didn’t bother to point how rude he sounded.   
Laying in Taeil's bed was different- not because of the foreign pillows and mattress, nor was it because of the blankets. It was the smell. While it was the same detergent the entire dorm used, he could smell Taeil's individual scent on it. And...Jihoon's too? They really were a couple, weren't they?  
While the thought of Jihoon and Taeil happy together didn't bother him in the slightest, he was reminded that he wasn't lucky enough to have his best friend as his partner, nor to have the comfort of Kyung’s scent in the sheets of his bed.   
Jiho needed to tell him. It was already too late to keep it from Kyung at this point- he already knew that something was wrong, just not what it specifically was. But knowing him, it wouldn't be long before he figured it out for himself. After all, that idiot was probably the smartest guy in the room at any given time.   
He would rather confess than be found out.   
It was time for him to finally work up the courage, after all these years.   
"Jiho, I hope you're still there..." Creeping back into the room, Taeil was fresh from the shower, his tiny body engulfed in a pair of oversized pajamas that he most certainly didn't purchase himself. Must be Jihoon's.   
Peering over the thick blanket, Jiho gave a weak nod. "Yeah, still awake..."   
"Ah well, let's get some rest, okay? I don't know how you're still awake at all..." Crawling up onto the mattress, Taeil wormed his way under the blanket with Jiho.  
Oh.  
"Y-you're really close, hyung..."   
"Hm? If it bugs you I can sleep on the floor. I just don't trust leaving you here alone."   
Good call.   
"It's fine, I just figured, you know..." Taeil blinked a few times, not knowing what Jiho meant.  
"Well whatever it is, it's no big deal, right? Let's sleep." Holding out his pinky finger, Taeil managed to slip the small appendage around Jiho’s, giving his leader a weak smile. This was all too strange for Jiho. Taeil was...unusually affectionate. He'd write it off as Taeil just trying to comfort him, make sure he felt loved and supported through this disease, but even then, he couldn't help but feel like he was betraying Jihoon's trust by being so close with Taeil.  
For now, he'd just go to sleep. 

Waking up, Jiho didn't expect to feel someone cuddled up to his chest. Nor did he expect to feel a set of strong arms wrapped around his waist, feeling a second warm body embracing him from behind. Eyes fluttering open, he immediately recognized the lump snuggled up to his chest as Taeil. That made sense, they had shared a bed...Although he had to admit, it was a little awkward to see his hyung so at peace in his arms. Especially when he knew without a doubt Jihoon was in bed with them too.  
Shifting ever so slightly, Jiho tried to wriggle out of the mess of limbs without disturbing the pair. Taeil would be easy to push away with little trouble, but Jihoon...he wouldn't let go.   
Closing his eyes, he couldn't help but sigh. There was work to be done, and he had probably been asleep far longer than he would normally allow himself to be.   
Forcing his way out of Jihoon's grip, Jiho managed to sit up in bed before crawling off the mattress and leaving the two behind. He felt bad, watching the two stir slightly, Taeil letting out a faint grunt signaling that he had woken up. Well, he'd surely live. 

The dorm was incredibly quiet as he moved from Taeil's room and into the bathroom, only hearing the soft patter of water from one of the showers. Based off the time of day, he guessed it was probably Minhyuk, and he prayed that he was right.   
Hands gripping either side of the sink, Jiho looked up into the mirror. Did he really look this bad? Jiho was a workaholic, that was no secret. The poor boy looked exhausted without the pounds of makeup that the noonas always layered onto him, but now...he looked so much worse.  
And the reason why only made it harder.  
He needed to put a stop to this, and he needed to do it soon. Jiho wasn't the type to put things off, and now...now all he wanted to do was put it off. The idea of confessing his feelings made his stomach churn, he already knew what Kyung would say. His love was unrequited- if It wasn’t, he wouldn’t be like this.  
The feeling fluttering in his stomach began to rise, and Jiho could feel another fit coming on. At this point it didn't matter if Minhyuk heard him, the whole band was liable to know now and-   
Jiho was choking, coughing up handfuls of petals at a time. His throat felt raw, and he struggled to breathe as the bright yellow flowers danced through the air and fluttered into the sink.   
Suddenly the water stopped.   
"Jiho?"   
Shit.   
Reluctantly, Jiho turned around to face the smaller man.  
"Kyung..." 

"Jiho, we need to talk."


	5. Chapter 5

Kyung’s hair was still damp from the shower, and his face looked soft and dewy from the moisture. Having pulled an oversized white hoodie and joggers on, he looked just as much a mess as Jiho. Legs crossed, the two sat on opposite sides of Kyung’s bed.   
“You gonna say something? Or just keep staring at the floor?”   
“I don’t know what you expect me to say, Kyung. I don’t have anything to say.” But he did, and it was painfully obvious. Sighing, Kyung ran a hand through his bangs.   
“Jiho, we need to talk about your Hanahaki, before it lands you in the hospital. Before we take any action, I just gotta know what’s going on.”   
Jiho continued to stare at the floor, biting his lower lip and chewing slightly. He still wasn’t ready for this conversation and he wasn’t sure that he ever would be. Even though he had decided they needed to have this talk now, that he had to confess, his mind was drawing up blanks instead of words.   
“I’m not ready for this talk, Kyung. I…can we please talk about this another time?”   
“No.” Kyung’s eyes were searching Jiho’s face, and he pulled himself closer to his friend. His hand slid carefully over Jiho’s, his expression soft and full of worry. No…he couldn’t take that look, not full of concern and hurt. Although he knew it came from a place of love, it wasn’t the type of love he was looking for, the kind that he needed from Kyung to make this all go away.   
“Jiho, this…this isn’t about a girl, is it? Please be honest with me, you know I’m not going to judge you. No one in the group would think twice of you.” He pulled his hand back, allowing Jiho more space.   
“No…it’s not.” Eyes turning back to the floor, Jiho repressed a cough. He knew he couldn’t stop the petals from falling from his lips, and he wondered why even bother trying to stop himself. Sputtering, a flash of yellow escaped Jiho before he felt Kyung’s hand on his back.   
“Jiho I…I’m really sorry, this is about Jaehyo, isn’t it? This all started once I started seeing him quietly and didn’t bother to consider how it would make you feel, I noticed you started to act strange and-“   
“Jaehyo?” Jiho’s eyes shot up, locking with Kyung’s. Instantly he backed away from his friend, shrugging his hand off his body yet again. “You seriously think that I have feelings for Ahn Jaehyo? How blind can you possibly be?”   
Standing and brushing himself off, Jiho locked eyes with Kyung. “Park Kyung, you idiot, it’s always been you. Always.”   
Impulsive actions were something Jiho had been good about suppressing, but suddenly their foreheads were touching, Jiho’s hands planted firmly on Kyung’s shoulders and lips only a hairs width apart. He was so close, so very very close, yet when Jiho’s breath hitched, he felt so distant from his best friend.   
No matter close he got physically, Jiho still felt that they were worlds apart.   
“Jiho…”  
He felt his face burning bright red, all the way up to his ears. “…Forget it.”   
Mouth slightly ajar, Kyung remained on the bed, stunned. He felt his entire body shake when Jiho slammed the door behind him, and he felt his heart shatter when the first tear fell from his cheek and onto the bed spread. 

When had Jiho’s feelings for Kyung changed from friendship to love? Maybe it had been when they were still just kids, or perhaps it had been when Jiho had convinced Kyung to join him as a rapping duo. Maybe it hadn’t been until after their debut. No matter when it was, the transition had been so subtle that neither of them had noticed until it was too late. By the time Jiho realized what had happened, he already lived in a world where he couldn’t imagine life without him by his side.   
Kyung couldn’t imagine his life without Jiho either. But Jiho being in love with him…he really would have to get the surgery, wouldn’t he? But Kyung couldn’t stand the thought that he was the reason for his condition. Jiho would more than likely lose memories of their precious lives together…that’s what they all said, wasn’t it? Not only was the surgery dangerous, but it altered memories as well.   
But Kyung and Jiho had never been apart, not for years. Did that mean Jiho would forget all the memories he had of Kyung? Or just the memories of his feelings? Hands grasping at the hem of his sweatshirt, Kyung let his head hang before feeling another tear fall, noticing the soft yellow petals Jiho had left behind on the bed spread.   
Jiho’s flowers had bloomed for Kyung, yet Kyung could only feel his heart break for the man he called his best friend. 

“I can’t keep finding you like this, Jiho.” Taeil stretched an arm out to the younger man who was sitting on the bathroom floor. Taking his hand, Jiho kept his eyes fixated on the wall.   
“Sorry, hyung.”   
“You told him, didn’t you.” Taeil kept his hands wrapped around Jiho’s, voice careful yet it was clear it was a statement rather than a question. 

“I really don’t mind if you want to break it off, but are you sure it’s what you want?” Sitting on his bed, Jaehyo watched Kyung pace around the small dorm room.   
“I…really don’t know. You know it’s not anything against you. I love you, you know that. But I don’t love you like a partner should.” Hands tucked into the sleeves of his sweatshirt, Kyung tugged on the fabric with his teeth. “It’s just…well, you know, how can I see you when I know I’m the reason Jiho is like this?” He’s the reason Jiho is sick, the reason he may have to die on a surgeon’s table.   
Leaning forwards, Jaehyo sighed. “You know…we all love Jiho. None of us want to see him suffer, but I’m not sure that this will help him…he’ll probably think you’re doing it out of pity.”   
Kyung could have easily burned a hole straight through Jaehyo with the venom in his eyes. But that look didn’t last long, he was far too concerned, and he knew that Jaehyo was right. Jiho would think that he was only doing it to make him feel better, like it was an obligation of some sort.   
To hell with that.


	6. Chapter 6

The calm that settled in Kyung was one that he found after spending a lot of time alone. It was a calm that told him that his very best friend was dying from unrequited love, and there was nothing he could do. Trying to talk to Jiho at this point was futile. He was never in the dorm, and if Kyung tried to check on him at the studio, Taeil would turn him away.  
Kyung found it strange that Taeil spent so much time in the studio these days. It wasn’t a mystery that Taeil didn’t like it there- he always tried to avoid going there until he absolutely had to. Yet he had insisted that he should be the one to go with Jiho, checking on him every day. At this point, everyone knew and no one was comfortable with the idea. Fighting with Jiho about it, however, was akin to shouting into a black hole. Nothing would come of it.   
So yes, Kyung was calm. It was not the kind of calm that he needed, but it was all he could muster. If he paced outside of his room, Minhyuk would only look at him with those eyes full of pity, hurting for Kyung and Jiho both. He almost wondered why Minhyuk even bothered coming around the dorm, but he could make a guess. More than likely he was there in case something went wrong. After all, Ukwon was never around- the only ones left in the dorm were Jaehyo and Kyung.   
“…You spend a lot of time in bed lately.” Jaehyo closed the door to Kyung’s room shut as he entered.  
“Yeah, what of it?” Rolling onto his side, Kyung pulled the blankets up over his head. He wasn’t interested in speaking.   
“It doesn’t do any good…” Making his way over to the bed, Jaehyo sat himself down next to the large lump hidden in the sheets. “You know, I can’t understand how you feel right now, but you understand that Jiho is a part of my life too. You don’t have to go this alone.”   
Shifting, Kyung let his eyes peer over the fold of fabric he had tugged over his head. “I just want to know how he’s doing. Jiho won’t answer my text messages, and Taeil won’t let me see him.”  
“His condition hasn’t worsened, according to Jihoon. He visited a few days ago and says that he’s working hard, just like usual.” It wasn’t much, but it was a small comfort. If this was the case, then perhaps his confession had helped in some way, allowing him to cope with his unrequited love…  
“…You really didn’t know how he felt, did you.” Jaehyo’s voice was flat, and he purposefully avoided eye contact with the man laying in bed next to him. “Why do you think that is?”   
Eyes fixated on the ceiling, Kyung’s lips parted ever so slightly. “I…have been thinking about that a lot. I don’t know it just, you know, I never thought of him being anything but straight. Just thought what we shared was love between brothers, always by each other’s side, for better or worse.”   
“You know when we met, we all thought you two were just trying to keep your relationship from the company. Anyone close to you could see how in love you both seemed, always together. I was a little surprised that it wasn’t true, but I can see that none of us were really completely wrong, huh?”   
Flipping to his other side, Kyung faced Jaehyo, still burrowed deep in the covers. “We were all so surprised when we heard about Jiho dating a woman, you know? We were all worried about you, wondering how you’d take it. But you seemed so okay with it, and we were all shocked…” Running a hand through his hair, Jaehyo grinned.   
“I guess I sound silly now, after the fact. But I guess that’s why his love is unrequited, right?” Laying down next to the smaller man, he sighed.  
Silence floated about the room, the two men lying next to one another without so much as a sigh. As time passed, the noise in Kyung’s head grew louder and louder, causing him to fidget. As if he could read the smaller’s mind, Jaehyo turned to look him in the eyes.  
“If Jiho doesn’t start getting better this week, he’s having the surgery. Ukwon and Jiho had a long talk about it and that’s what they decided was best.”  
The silence was deafening, and Kyung found himself with a slack jaw.  
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but Jiho can’t stay the way he is. He’s not getting better and no one is willing to risk his life.”  
“Yeah, I…Yeah, I know.” 

In Jiho’s mind, now that he had confessed, the feelings he had would subside. Instead he would drown himself in work, losing himself in the beats that he would write. The songs didn’t flow well and he found all of the rhythms to be far to clunky. At this rate, he wouldn’t be able to produce a song worth listening to, and then what?   
A plate clunked in front of Jiho, steaming with some sort of instant microwave abomination assembled upon it.   
“Taeil, you really don’t have to-“  
“You’re eating it.” The older man looked down at Jiho in his swivel chair, arms crossed. “I’m not leaving until I see all of it gone, either.”   
Sighing, it seemed that he had no other choice. Taking a weak bite, Jiho noted how bland and flavorless the concoction was, much like how dull and lifeless the songs he had been working on were.   
Taking the last few bites, Taeil smiled down at the taller man. Sleeves pulled over his hands, Taeil leaned down to wrap Jiho in a warm embrace. “Thank you, Jiho.”  
“For what?”   
“For eating. Tomorrow, I’ll bring you something better than that. Better yet, I’m taking you out.”   
“Taeil, you know I’m busy. I can’t leave till I get a new track down…”  
“Shh. This is non-negotiable.” Tightening his grip, he rested his head onto Jiho’s shoulder. “Some real food and some fresh air will help, maybe you’ll pull some inspiration from how delicious the food will be?” 

 

Jiho should have expected that Jihoon would accompany them out to eat the following afternoon, not that he minded. The lanky maknae was good company, full of smiles and laughter. Good things always followed him, including the tiny Taeil always by his side. Sometimes he couldn’t help but be jealous of the two, always together and happy. He knew this was for him though, it wasn’t a dinner date for the happy couple. Yet still, he couldn’t help but feel like a third wheel.   
Sitting around the table, Jiho blinked when he saw Taeil take a seat next to him rather than Jihoon. Well, he supposed they didn’t always have to be touching, contrary to their typical behavior.   
“Jihoon, you had some ideas about a track for next comeback, right?” Eyes glancing up from the menu, Jihoon grinned.   
“Ah yeah, no, hyung listen to this-“   
The youngest member was so animated, so full of life. While typically Jiho produced all their songs with Kyung or Poptime, maybe bringing Jihoon in to fill in wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

“Wah, hyung~ Just come home to the dorm tonight, okay? It won’t be so bad, spend the night with us again!” Cheeks blushing from drinking too much, Jihoon slung an arm around Jiho’s shoulders.   
“Yeah, it’s much closer than your place, you can share a bed with me again Jiho.” Trailing alongside the pair, Taeil looked up at his leader. Jiho knew he should say no, knowing that Kyung would be there, and that he might run into him. But when his lips parted to say no, a soft yes escaped instead. He might as well, fuck it. With his current luck, he’d more than likely pass out in a coughing fit in some poor sap’s cab trying to make his way home.  
When the trio made it to the door, Jihoon laid down on the couch for ‘just a small stretch,’ promptly passing out the second that his eyes closed.   
“Well, looks like it’s just the two of us then, huh?” Pulling his circular glasses off his face, Taeil made his way into the bedroom, pausing only when he didn’t hear Jiho following him.  
“You coming?”   
“Yeah just…” Should he be sleeping with a taken man when they’re both tipsy and his boyfriend is passed out only a few feet away?   
“Just what? Jiho, get in here before you pass out where you stand.”   
Tugging off his clothing and pulling on a spare shirt Taeil tossed him, he noted the large size and assumed it must be Jihoon’s. Geez, even without him living at the dorm anymore, he sure did leave a lot of his clothing in Taeil’s room-  
Oh. That did make sense.   
Curling up under the blankets, Jiho felt the familiar warmth of Taeil slipping their fingers together in a warm embrace. This would be the second time he’d fallen asleep hand in hand with Taeil.  
“Night Jiho, sweet dreams.”  
“Yeah…you too.”   
But Jiho couldn’t sleep. 

 

Jiho closed his eyes, mind racing. He couldn’t help but think of Kyung, more than likely sleeping in the next room over. Sleeping peacefully, no doubt, with Jaehyo’s arms wrapped around him, keeping him safe and warm. The feeling in his chest was stirring, and it took everything in him to not cough directly into Taeil’s face. He instead opted to relinquish his loose grip on the smaller’s hand, rolling over and setting up in bed to unleash a handful of yellow flowers into the air, choking.   
Gasping for air, Jiho felt a small hand rest on his back, rubbing gently.   
“T-Taeil, I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”   
“You most certainly are not fine, Woo Jiho. Talk to me.”   
Turning, Jiho found Taeil’s eyes in the dim room, light leaking in from the crack of the doorframe from the living room.   
“You already know what’s wrong, nothing has changed. I’m just…thinking about him.”   
“Well stop. Think about something else.”   
“If it were that easy I would. Taeil- look, you know he’s probably in bed right now with Jaehyo, sleeping, and I’m just…”   
Even in the darkness, Jiho could feel the stern look from his elder as he wrapped a small hand around his own. Never did he feel so exposed, so vulnerable in front of his hyung. The alcohol from the restaurant still softly buzzed through him, making him all the more susceptible to his intrusive thoughts.   
“Then let me help you, okay?” Leaning forwards, Taeil’s face all but collided with Jiho’s, lips locked firmly into place.   
“T-Taeil, hold on, fuck-” With a rough push, Jiho’s face contorted into one of great confusion. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”   
Shifting slightly, Taeil kept his hands firmly locked with Jiho’s. “I’m kissing you? Look, if you don’t want this it’s fine, I won’t be offended.”   
“But…Jihoon is right outside the door.” Even stunned, he worried about the maknae’s feelings. His boyfriend had just kissed him, and from the way it sounded, he was ready to offer more than just that.   
“Then we’ll stay quiet, if you want this.”  
“That’s not what I meant.”   
Shifting back slightly, Taeil hummed. “What does Jihoon have to do with me distracting you?”   
“He’s your boyfriend Taeil, and betraying his trust-not just you, but me, as our leader-“   
“Oh. You thought we were…dating?” There was laughter in his voice, and even in the darkness Jiho could see his smile behind those chubby tattooed fingers. “Jiho, me and Jihoon have never been together. We’re just friends, always have been. Jeez, do we really seem like that?”   
Could have fooled him.   
“Jiho, let me ask you this. Do you want this or not? We can pretend this never happened if you want, it’s no big deal.”   
Jiho feel silent, quietly considering the situation.   
Ah, fuck it. He might as well.


	7. Chapter 7

Setting at the kitchen table, Jiho drummed his fingers against the shoddy wood as he gazed upon Taeil’s back. It was a rather domestic scene, seeing him cook bright and early. However it wasn’t enough to distract from the voice nagging him in his head. The second that everyone woke up and filed into the kitchen, there was no doubt that they wouldn’t take notice the dark bruises coloring Jiho’s neck. He placed a hand over the largest one, keeping it hidden from any suspecting eyes, but it wouldn’t stay a secret for long.  
Yawning, Minhyuk blinked slowly as he eased his way to the kitchen table, setting himself next to Jiho. “Mm, morning you two…” Face buried in his hands, it looked like Minhyuk had had a rough night.  
“Minhyuk, mind grabbing Jihoon and the others? Breakfast is almost done.” Pulling plates down from the cabinet, Taeil looked about ready to set the table.  
“Ah, sure. Jihoon looked rough though, it may take a minute.”

It was quiet, everyone gathered around the kitchen table but Kyung. He had murmured incoherently about something and rolled over, leaving his spot at the table open. It mattered little to Jiho though, less for him to worry about. Although he did admit Jihoon was…putting him in a state of unrest. The maknae had been the first to notice the hickeys branding his pale skin, immediately going white in the face. He hadn’t spoken a single word, but the look said it all. Jihoon hated them.  
“I’m up, sorry hyung. Hope the food isn’t too cold-“ Entering the kitchen, Kyung immediately made eye contact with Jiho. Jiho’s blood ran cold, staringup at the smaller man standing the doorway. Carefully taking a bite of his eggs, he did his best to avoid contact with Kyung.  
What was Jiho doing here? Not that he didn’t belong, but even so…he had been systematically avoiding him for over a week now, so why risk seeing him like this so suddenly? It wasn’t until he sat down with his breakfast that Kyung’s eyes were drawn to his best friend’s neck.  
Oh.  
A chill ran through Kyung’s body, feeling his jaw go slack. Slowling blinking, his eyes panned down from Jiho’s neck and onto the plate of food in front of him. Suddenly the food no longer smelled appealing, but instead he felt himself getting sick. What was this? It didn’t matter before if Jiho was getting any, but now…it was somehow different.  
Shoveling the food into his mouth, different scenarios ran through Kyung’s head. Jiho wasn’t the type of guy to have a one night stand, but the likelihood of him somehow finding love in such a shot period of time was slim to none as well, especially cooped up in the studio. So then who would Jiho trust enough to get that close with?  
“Kyung, something wrong? If it’s too cold you can reheat it.” Taeil casually took a bite of egg, blinking slowly at Kyung.  
“Ah no, just…not feeling well I guess.”  
Jihoon was the first to excuse himself from the table, shoving his dishes in the sink.  
“Jihoonie, you’re not gonna eat anymore?” Normally he’d have seconds of whatever Taeil made, and Taeil had made extra to always accommodate him.  
“N-no, sorry hyung. Just…excuse me.” He left the room rather swiftly, blank expression still on his face.  
“…Taeil, did something happen?” Minhyuk chewed on the side of his fork, curious.  
“No…I can’t imagine what’s wrong…”  
Jaehyo almost choked on his orange juice, sputtering before wiping his mouth with his sleeve. Jiho’s eyes turned downwards, lips clamped tight. Taeil bore a confused expression, looking between the two. The gears were trying to turn in Kyung’s head, but things weren’t lining up. What was he missing from this equation?  
“Sorry, I just swallowed my juice the wrong way.” Giving Kyung a firm pat on the shoulder, Jaehyo smiled. “Thanks for breakfast, Taeil. If you’ll excuse me.” With an alkward smile, Jaehyo left the room, leaving his dishes behind in the sink.  
As if nothing was wrong, Taeil carried on, happily sitting next to Jiho while Minhyuk tried to make sense of the situation. Kyung watched as Minhyuk slowly rose, easing his way out of the situation.

“Minhyuk, what just happened in there?” Having tugged the older man into his room, Kyung squeezed his hands together.  
“…Why are you asking me? I have just as clear an idea as you.” Eyebrows furrowed, Minhyuk sighed. “Look, as far as I’m concerned, it’s between the three of them to work out, not us.”  
“The three of them? As in…” Kyung still wasn’t totally connecting the dots. For such a smart guy, he was shit at reading the situation. Minhyuk’s eyes widened, realizing. Kyung really was blind, wasn’t he?  
“I mean, based off the look on Jihoon’s face, I’d say that Taeil was probably the one who left those hickeys on Jiho…” Was he really hearing this right?  
“Wait, what?”  
No.  
Kyung could feel his heart sinking into his stomach. What the hell was going on? Was Jiho suddenly over him, just like that? Did that mean his Hanahaki would get better now? That should be good so then why…  
Why did he feel this way?  
“Hey, Kyung, you okay? You look like you’ve gone into shock.” A hand ghosting over Kyung’s pale fingers, he shook his head.  
“Yeah just…Didn’t expect Jiho to be getting over me so soon.”  
“Well it’s a good thing, right? I hate to see Pyo like this but, you know, at least Jiho’s getting better.” With a small smile, Minhyuk gave Kyung’s had a squeeze. “I’m sure the three of them will work it out, but till then, let’s just give them some space.”

 

Foot tapping nervously against the floor, Kyung sucked a deep breath in through his teeth. The song he had been working on with Jaehyo was about 50% done, the lyrics all written out and melody generally secured. The trouble was the instrumental at this point, and while Kyung was normally pretty good about busting songs out fast, the white keys of the synth were all melding together.  
Repeatedly hitting the F key on the keyboard, Kyung groaned. It had been about a week since the awkward group breakfast, and he and Jiho were still avoiding one another. Taeil had taken to passing in and out of the dorm, cooking meals for Jiho at the studio and delivering them like a delivery boy.  
It made Kyung sick.  
He couldn’t quite place why, but every time Kyung saw Taeil packing food into Tupperware and trotting out the door, he wanted to slap the elder. Maybe it was the feeling of being replaced as the one Jiho relies on, or maybe it had something to do with how lifeless Jihoon’s face had been looking as of late. No matter what the reason, his adjustment to the shifting relationships within the group had been poor, and he had begun to rely on Minhyuk more than he would have liked to.  
It wasn’t as if Kyung was keeping in good contact with Minhyuk, but he had been the one that reported in on Jiho’s status. The good news, it seemed, was that Jiho’s condition was improving. His coughing was beginning to subside and the number of petals he was producing was decreasing.  
So, if that was the case, why did Kyung feel like absolute shit?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I know things are...becoming a little more Kyung centered, arn't they? I think it's because I find Kyung much easier to write than Jiho, to be honest...  
> Things should be getting interesting soon I hope, I have some things planned out, but transitional filler is unfortunately quite neccicary to make sure everything flows logically lol.


	8. Chapter 8

Falling backwards onto the plush mattress, Jiho sighed with content. When was the last time he had felt this way? Things were looking up for him, all thanks to the tiny man curling up at his side.  
“What’s the occasion? You’ve been grinning since Ukwon dropped you off.” Eyes blinking behind his oversized glasses, Taeil gave a small smile of his own.  
“Well, I just got back from the hospital, and it’s as we hoped. My Hanahaki is actually dying- the doctor was astonished, he said it should be clear within the next month.” Tilting his head down, Jiho planted a warm kiss on Taeil’s forehead. “Just have to cough up what’s left in me and I’m free. More than likely, no surgery required.”  
Smile growing, Taeil’s face lit up before he pounced on Jiho. “Jiho, Jiho- This is so great! Have you told the others?” Arms squeezing the taller man just a little too tight, he couldn’t help but bury his face into Jiho’s chest.  
“Nah, only Ukwon knows right now. I figure that we could all go out to celebrate, as a group before I lock myself back into the studio.”  
“Jiho, taking time out to celebrate? Are we sure you’re really okay?”  
“Yes, absolutely. Never been better.”

 

Pushing his food around on his plate, Kyung was paying attention to his surroundings just enough to notice that the tall maknae sitting next to him looked just as miserable as he was. The rest of the group was sympathetic to Jihoon for certain, but not sympathetic enough to stop the celebration of their leader’s health being restored.  
Taeil and Jiho were all but setting on each other, Taeil’s hand always touching some part of Jiho as he animatedly described what he was cooking up for their next comeback. Whatever he was saying was tickling Minhyuk to death, Ukwon giving Jaehyo a pat on the shoulder as if to say ‘I’m sorry’ for whatever was being discussed.  
“Honestly the real gem of this comeback will be what Jihoon cooked up though, ‘eyo P.O! Ain’t that right?” Jiho’s eyes glimmered with pride, looking to the hunched over man prodding his food with a chopstick.  
“Huh? Oh…” Giving a goofy giggle, Jihoon put on a weak smile. “Ah, well once we get in the studio, I guess we’ll see, huh?” Jiho’s expression fell, noticing the uneasy air around the youngest member. Before he had a chance to comment though, Taeil was saying something in a very excited tone, but Kyung couldn’t decipher his words.  
Everything just sounded like static to him.

 

Jihoon had seen better days. In fact, up until quite recently, he was the happiest he had been in a while. With Taeil by his side, Jihoon always felt at home, like he belonged in the group he called family. Not that the other members weren’t precious to him- on the contrary. He loved all of his groupmates. Which is why when one of them is sick or down, it effects all of them.  
Jihoon did his best to help Jiho, even though he wasn’t much help. Working with Jiho on a new track would be the best thing he could do, he thought, and set himself to writing. Taeil thought it was a great idea. He loved it when Taeil thought he was doing a good job.  
In fact, Jihoon loved all of the attention he got from Taeil. Even when he was being scolded, he knew it was from a good place. Not to mention no matter what happened, they always made up. Tail would always forgive him, no matter how stupid his mistake. He would relish in the warmth of his elder, fitting perfectly in place when he tucked his chin over Taeil’s head when they held each other close.  
He knew that it was love.  
Jihoon knew that he loved Taeil for a very long time, but he was okay with it. Quietly loving his hyung and looking out for him was the most he could do in their situation, and it didn’t bother him at all. As long as Taeil was by his side, Jihoon could live happily.  
But now Taeil was at Jiho’s side as well, in a more-than-friends way, and that was something Jihoon never once had the foresight to predict. This wasn’t something in his equation. Taeil had said before he wasn’t interested in marriage- so then was this just a fling, or were they secretly dating? Within the group, he knew it wouldn’t stay a secret. Not with the way that Taeil had marked Jiho. Jiho wasn’t the type to do a friends with benefits deal either.  
It became certain that the two were seeing each other. Even if it weren’t for the fact that they were always together, the sympathetic looks that Jihoon earned from Minhyuk and the others were telling enough. The nights that Jihoon and Taeil had spent in the studio became nights that Taeil and Jiho spent together. Jiho was sleeping over at the dorms more often. The nights that Taeil didn’t spend at the dorm were in the studio or in Jiho’s apartment. And so Jihoon spent more time in his own apartment, spent more time out drinking with Mino. And as much as Mino wanted to spend time with his best friend, he wasn’t about to let him turn into an alcoholic.  
“Minhyuk-hyung, could I…maybe spend a night with you?” Picking at the hem of his shirt, Jihoon carefully listened for the voice on the other end of his cell phone to answer.  
“It’s…yeah, come over. Don’t forget your toothbrush.”

 

“Oi Kyung, do you still have that sweatshirt I lent you? It’s not in my apartment…” Voice trailing off, Ukwon looked upon the lump of blankets that concealed Park Kyung. It had been awhile since Ukwon had come to visit, but he hadn’t expected this. Kyung was, by nature, a messy guy. It wasn’t out of place for there to be clothing strewn across the floor or something strange crusted on his bedside wall (most likely snot from picking his nose, they teased,) but…this was too much.  
“Kyung…hey, are you…?” Closing the door behind him, Ukwon slowly made his way to perch on the side of the other mans bed. “Look, I won’t force you to tell me what’s up, but let’s talk for a minute, okay?”  
There was a stir underneath the blankets, Kyung carefully peering out from underneath his comforter and sitting upright. “’Kwonnie…sorry, I’m…not really sure where I put it.”  
Blinking once, Ukwon repressed a sigh. That much was apparent by the terrible state of things in his room. What looked even worse than Kyung’s room though, was his face. It wasn’t the normal puffy face from waking up from sleep. No, it looked like Kyung had barely slept at all. Yet his eyes were red and puffy, and his lower lip was bright red from being chewed on.  
“It’s not a big deal, I was just in to visit anyways.” Ukwon shrugged it off. He wasn’t about to pry, but Kyung could tell he was trying his best to not look concerned.  
“…How are things going?”  
“Okay I guess, things have been lively at the studio lately. Me and Minhyuk are working on some chorography for our new song. Jiho’s pulling teeth in the studio trying to get everything down. So just the usual.” Kyung flinched at Jiho’s name, and Ukwon couldn’t help but quirk his eyebrows together.  
“You know, I don’t like to pry into your personal business, but now that Jiho’s getting better, you don’t need to keep your distance like this. He’s tough.”  
Kyung muttered something under his breath, eyes darting to the side.  
“Hm?”  
“I…I know that.”  
“So why are you spending so much time in bed these days?”  
Furrowing his brows, Kyung felt something stir in his chest. Laying back down, Kyung pulled the blankets over his head, taking a deep breath.  
“I just don’t feel well.”  
“If you don’t feel well, you should see a doctor, since it’s gone on this long you know.” Ukwon’s tone was wavering into annoyance. Kyung was childish at times, it wasn’t anything new, but not taking care of himself was out of the question.  
“Kyung, please, can you just- just do something, okay? We worry about you.” Rolling his eyes, Ukwon grabbed a handful of blanket and yanked hard, ripping the fabric into the air and letting loose a handful of bright red rose petals to float around the room.  
“Ukwon I-“ Eyes wide, Kyung’s face was full of panic, and his chest stirred again. Hands shooting up to cover his mouth, he did his best to suppress the fluttering in his chest, but it was too late.  
The jig was up, Ukwon knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic has become 'how emo can Park Kyung become' essentially.


	9. Chapter 9

“How selfish can you possibly be, Kyung? Keeping something this serious from us? We’re your family, we don’t do shit like this.”   
“Why can Zico keep secrets but not me? Why didn’t you yell at him like this when you found out his secret, huh?”   
Ukwon pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. “No, no…You’re right. I’m sorry, this isn’t fair to you at all. Just…Kyung, why?”   
Sitting up in bed, Kyung took a deep breath. The answer wasn’t so easy. Over a month had passed from the time he realized that Taeil and Jiho were seeing one another. He hadn’t addressed the issue with either one of them, and kept quietly to himself for the time being. So why was this disease manifesting within him?   
The answer to the question was simple. He had loved Jiho, for how long? It was a mystery, but he figured it didn’t really matter. Kyung was simply blind to his love, and the disease clearly didn’t discriminate based on what the actual situation was. It only mattered what the host of the disease believed.   
“Ukwon…if I open up to you, if I’m honest with you, will you please keep this quiet?” Letting a hand rake through his mussed hair, Kyung’s eyes met with Ukwons. The older man took a seat on the bed across from Kyung, quietly nodding.   
“I promise. Take your time, we’ll talk this through.” 

 

“Ahh…open up!” Lifting the ice cream cone to Jiho’s mouth, Taeil grinned.   
“Taeil, don’t you think this is…silly? We’re like a couple of teenagers on their first date…” Scratching the back of his head, Jiho gave the ice cream a look of skepticism.   
Sighing, Taeil leaned back, resting himself on the bench they shared. “You know…you don’t have to be so tense. It’s okay to be goofy sometimes.” Jiho couldn’t help but frown. Sure, he could be goofy. But Taeil just wasn’t the person he was goofy with one-on-one. That spot was reserved for someone else, rather Jiho knew it or not.   
“Hmm…Jihoon lets me feed him…” Giving the ice cream a dejected lick, Taeil stared down at the ground. This ‘first proper date’ of theirs really wasn’t going as well as he would have liked it to.   
“Shouldn’t you have taken Jihoon out instead? He’s been really mopey lately, I think it’d do him good to spend some time with his favorite hyung.”   
“I mean, I could have. But his work schedule isn’t as tight as you make yours.” Taking another lick, Taeil looked up at Jiho and grinned. “Besides, don’t you think it’s a good idea to try a date? We can’t really call ourselves a couple without a date or two.”   
Blinking, Jiho pressed his lips into a firm line. “I…guess. Is that what we’re calling ourselves now? A couple?”   
“If you want to. I don’t care either way, but that’s what everyone else thinks we are.”   
A couple, huh? Well, Jiho wasn’t really sure if he’d go that far, but it wasn’t the worst thing that they could call themselves.   
“Everyone already thinks we had sex, so why not?”   
Eyes widening, Jiho let out a sharp cough. Taeil patted his back, soothing the taller man. A few dead petals escaped his lips, as was common. No longer were they a cause for concern, but instead seeing one or two flutter from Jiho’s mouth was a comfort that the flowers would soon plague him no more.  
“T-they really think that? Jeez, I mean…”   
“Well, it’s not an unfair assumption. We’re grown men after all.” How could Taeil be so calm about this? Talking so shamelessly about such a thing in public, lapping away at his ice cream…Jeez, Jiho sure knew how to pick em.   
“Yeah, I suppose. Listen, Taeil, I know this was…not much of a date, but we should probably head back soon. Minhyuk and Ukwon intended to teach us choreography today.” Taeil couldn’t help but grimace about the prospect of dancing, but shrugged it off anyways. Whatever, he thought. It’s part of the job. 

 

“Good work today, guys. I’ll be sure to revise the parts that were too difficult and get back to you on the changes soon.” Minhyuk slung a small towel over his shoulders, making his way over to unplug the speakers from the wall. “Kyung, make sure you practice extra over this week, you didn’t really get the choreography today. I don’t want you to fall behind-“   
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” Ukwon stepped in, patting Minhyuk’s shoulder. “We’re gonna stay a little while longer and work on it, don’t worry.” Nodding, Minhyuk seemed satisfied with his. Making his way out of the practice room, the majority of the group followed, leaving Ukwon, Kyung, and Jaehyo behind.   
“Jaehyo, why don’t you go have dinner with everyone else?” Kyung felt a firm hand on his shoulder, signifying that the other man had no intentions of going anywhere.   
“Nah, figured that I’d stay behind and get the extra practice as well. No harm in refining it, right?”   
“You’re a piss poor liar, Jaehyo.” Ukwon retorted, eyebrows furrowing.   
“Ah, I guess you’re right…well, I guess the jig is up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wah I feel like I need to write longer chapters before I post, but I always feel so antsy...I want things to get a little more interesting soon, no more of this emo wishy-washy nonsense.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops.

“It’s about time that you talk to Jiho.” Ukwon’s hand slid over Kyung’s, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I hate to be that asshole, but it’s not just effecting you anymore, Kyung. It’s effecting the entire group.”

Nodding, Kyung’s eyes bore into the wooden floor of the practice studio. At this rate, his disease was only getting rapidly worse, he knew he had to do something about it soon.

“Listen, I’m saying this from a place of love, okay? Stop being such a wimp. You’re not like this, Kyung. You’re a lot tougher.”

“It wouldn’t be so hard to just tell him, you know, if it wasn’t for his new boyfriend-“ A long sigh escaped Jaehyo’s lips, slipping into what almost sounded like a chuckle. Was he seriously laughing at a time like this?  
            “You’re seriously joking, right? You know Jiho only has eyes for you.”

“He wouldn’t fuck Taeil if he didn’t like him-“  
            “Oh my god, did you really just say that?” Jaehyo’s hands clapped onto his cheeks, eyes flickering over to Ukwon. “He really thinks they’re sleeping together.” Ukwon rolled his eyes, sighing.

“We’re comforting Kyung, not making fun of him, Jaehyo.”

“Anyways, no, they aren’t having sex. Trust me, I’d know, the walls are paper thin in that dorm. Anyways, on top of that, you know Jihoon would be loosing his mind if he thought Taeil was sleeping with Jiho…” At this point, the words were simply slipping through one end of Kyung’s ear and out the other. What was all this? He hadn’t even taken a moment to consider how Jihoon felt in all of this- everyone knew the kid was head over heels for Taeil, yet he hadn’t even considered-

“Jihoon…urgh, now I’m a terrible friend on top of all this…” Burying his face in his hands, Kyung took a deep breath.

“Listen, Kyung, just talk to Jiho, okay? Regardless of how things end up in the end, you need to work this out with him. I know you don’t want me forcing you to the hospital before talking to him, right?”

The hospital.

That’s right, that would ultimately be his destination, given his unwillingness to grow up and just talk to his friend. His very best friend. The one he could laugh and joke about anything with, who he had said he wanted to make music with until they both got old and died.

“…alright.”

 

 

 

Later in the week, there finally came a day where Jiho was at the dorm without Taeil, and Kyung wondered if maybe the others had somehow conspired together to get everyone out all at once besides the two. Regardless of how it happened, it was likely the only chance he’d have for awhile to have a one on one talk with Jiho without going out of his way.

Sitting down on the couch next to Jiho, Kyung left an obvious amount of space between the two.

"...Your scent."

Jiho’s eyes lifted off the screen of his phone, no longer fixated on whatever article he had been reading. "Okay, what about it?"

"It's different."

"Kyung, what are you talking about? I've been using the same shampoo since last year and-"

"You smell like him." Jiho blinked, eyes searching Kyungs face.

“You mean…Taeil?” Who else could he mean? This was about Taeil? "I mean, okay I guess? Does Taeil smell bad?" Looking up at the ceiling, Kyung took a deep breath. Dense, they were both so impossibly dense.

"It's...Not that he smells bad. It's that I miss the way you smell, Jiho. I mean-" that sounded weird, didn't it? Shaking his head, Kyung groaned. "What I mean to say is, I hate that. Even if he doesn't do it around everyone else, I know he’s hanging all over each other in private."

"Oh? And how do you think I felt?" Jiho didn't mean for his words to come out to harsh, but he supposed that was partially just his nature. Every word he said had purpose, and it was clear even if he had convinced himself he was over the whole situation, he truly was not.

A flash of hurt crossed Kyun’s face before his eyes glued themselves to the ground. A few moments of silence passed between the two, Kyung’s hands awkwardly rubbing together.

"I...I'm not with Jaehyo anymore."

"I know." Of course he knew. Everyone knew.

"...Why are you with Taeil, Jiho?" Kyung didn't have to look at Jiho's face to know he was lost.

"Because Taeil is a good guy. He's there for me, and he really seems to like me...Kyung, Taeil has been good for me." Jiho offered a smile, thinking of his tiny hyung, always grinning and waddling along by his side in those too-big-for-him sweaters. "You know, I ended up not needing the surgery because of him, my coughing has slowed down and the flowers coming up are wilted so-"

“Jiho, can you please get your head out of your ass?” Eyes now fixated on his friend’s face, Kyung’s face was hard as stone. “I’ve done enough research on this disease, that’s not how it works. You didn’t just ‘find love’ and have it suddenly die off.”

Turning his body towards Kyung, Jiho took a deep breath as his features stiffened, clearly getting riled. “Who are you to tell me how I feel, huh? You’re the one that’s been blind to my feelings for years- How the hell do you know how I feel? For all-I-fucking-know, Taeil has been better for me in these past few weeks than you have my entire life.”

Shock displayed itself clearly on Kyung’s face, red heating up from his neck up to his ears. “He’s been better for you, more than me? For your entire life? Now I know you’re just blowing smoke, Jiho. You’ve fucking blinded yourself.” Standing up, Kyung felt the fluttering in his chest and he leaned over, accentuating each of his words with jabs of accusational tone.

“Who was there for you, your entire youth, Jiho? It’s me. It’s always been me. And up until now, I thought we were always on the same page. I thought we had honesty no matter what- apparently I was mistaken.” The fluttering in his chest rose further and further, until his words were becoming strangled, barely making it out. “Jiho, you can tell me anything. I thought, I thought you would never lie to me, or keep secrets from me. How wrong can I be? How can I continue to be wrong?”

“I’ve never lied to you!” Rising from his seat, Jiho was nearly butting heads with Kyung, eyes full of fire. “The only secret I’ve ever kept from you was the one, Kyung. That’s it. And now you’re accusing me of what, lying even more?” Jamming a finger into Kyung’s chest, Jiho’s eyes burned deeply into his friend’s.

Grinding his forehead into Jiho’s, Kyung growled. “You’re lying to me and you’re lying to yourself. You’re not just hurting me, Jiho. You’re hurting Jihoon, hurting yourself-“ Feeling the itch burn in his throat, he clamped a hand over his mouth, coughing hard. He had to take a few steps back, dizzy, coughing up those soft red petals, trying so hard to not let a single petal flutter free.

Looking down into his hands, the petals were falling down at an alarming rate- Kyung had never coughed up so many at once before, nor had he noticed the small splatter of red liquid he had coughed up.

“K-Kyung, oh my god…” Stunned, Jiho’s feet stayed planted squarely onto the ground, yet his hands found themselves reaching out for Kyung’s. “Kyung, Park Kyung, you stop this right now-“  
            “I’m sorry Jiho, I guess I kept a secret from you too.”

Kyung’s wrists were quickly snatched by Jiho’s rough hands, palms up and bright red flowers now pooling on the floor. Yet the tinge of red blood was still evident on his hands.

“What the hell did you do? Kyung, oh my god, this is fake, right?” Eyes darting back and forth between his open palms and the soft smile full on his best friend’s face, Jiho found himself having a hard time breathing.

“No, it’s very real. I’m sorry Jiho, I should have told you. I just…It didn’t seem right.” Eyes full of sorrow, Kyung’s voice was back at his regular tone, as if he were discussing something as casual as the weather. “I didn’t mean for this to be so dramatic either, eheh.”

“As if dramatic isn’t your middle name.” Grip slipping, Jiho let his hands drop before pulling Kyung into a warm embrace. He wanted so desperately to be able to tuck Kyung’s head into his chest, to comfort him in some way, but he nearly forgets that the other is taller than him, and instead settles for simply keeping him close.

“Idiot, you can tell me anything. I don’t care if it’s right or not.” Giving him a gentle squeeze, he pulled away just enough to look Kyung in the eyes. “Lets…lets just never keep things from one another, okay? Like that even needs to be said.”

As Kyung’s eyes searched Jiho’s, the corner of his mouth tugged up into a small smirk. “No secrets, okay. Just…don’t laugh at me, or get mad, okay?”

“No promises that I won’t get mad. Just be honest.”

Honesty, huh?

Taking a deep breath, Kyung closed his eyes and collected his thoughts before looking back down into Jiho’s eyes, a nervous smile creeping onto his lips.

 

“I love you, Woo Jiho.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Urgh I'm really sorry to those of you who have been reading this fic...it's been increasingly harder for me to write this for whatever reason, so it ended up...being kind of a short sloppy mess in the end. But I figure that some closure to this hot mess of a fanfic is better than none, right?  
> Anyways, the last chapter that will go into this will be the ~closure~ chapter for everyone. Yay for not leaving things unfinished! (Even if it's...not great....nervous laughter.)
> 
> Come yell at me on Twitter @YuyerSakaki if you wanna get mad at me for this hot garbage.


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